Kites – Movie Review or whatever !

Story, Action, Drama, Romance, Comedy and whatever else you can think of – Kites joins the ranks of few movies, which lack all of the mentioned requisites.

This isn’t a regular review. You can find out about Kites related paraphernalia elsewhere.

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Mr. Rakesh Roshan – An enviable brand, you have created in FilmKRAFT. Your movies have entertained many, for many years. So, keeping in mind your movie making acumen, just how in the world, did you come to write Kites ? Can’t you accord some respect to your audience ? What in the world, gives you the right, to mock people who actually help you remain in business ? If I were you, I would be ashamed, to be called the story writer for this movie.

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Mr. Anurag Basu – Just when we thought you were gifted, you had to do this ? You now hold the title of making one of the most boringly, lifeless movies ever.

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Miss Kangana – You do a lot of depressing roles. In fact, I don’t remember you ever playing a happy, lively girl, ever. Yet, even with what you are offered, you always impress. So why in hell did you accept this nonsensical garbage ?

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Miss Barbara – You chose well. Still, I think the biggest loser in this whole deal might be you. Or is it that they make more horrible movies in Mexico ?

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Dearest Hritik – A full two years after Jodha Akbar, and this is what we get ? Yes, a lot of shows may run full, owing to your physique and amazing dancing skills. Yet, a lot of us spend our hard earned money to get a glimpse of the Hritik of Lakshya or maybe, even a Mission Kashmir. This is the least you owe to your fans. Maybe you don’t need our money. In these days of multiplex cinema, you can be assured of breaking even, at the very least. Still, don’t you owe it your own self ? Whatever happened to your intelligence ?! Please spend your blood, tears, sweat on more meaningful cinema. Kites can’t even be called cinema !

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All the Roshans – You guys mostly create magic onscreen. Yet, maybe, you should give yourselves (and us) a break and go separate ways. That way, one of you will show some sense and advise the others against trodding down the path to self destruction !!!

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Bollywood film makers – A lot of you wish to expand your viewership, go global, win awards and crack important deals. I wish you luck. Just don’t name your rubbish as “Indian Cinema”. Your movies make us cringe and it becomes difficult to clean up the mess after you leave ! Also, didn’t you have a story writing class in school ? If story, which is primary to a film, is so difficult for you guys, please adapt from literature. But give us characters which make us feel for them. And please, please, please work on your idea of romance.